Sunday, January 2

on fear

Our Greatest Fear 
by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.


i've been given the greatest and most frightening gift of all, opportunity. every person close to me–and even sometimes strangers–tell me i can do anything i want, anything i set my mind to. i have friendship, a supportive family, a great education, limitless possibilities. anything i want to achieve, i can achieve if i try hard. the only thing that is ever going to stand in my way is myself, if i let it. 

i feel like i'm letting it.

i fully understand the idea of one's self being their own worst enemy. i have a strong constitution, i can handle other's insults, negativity, and letdowns. but i can't handle my own. no one can break me down like i can.

i almost wish others tried to keep me from becoming the best version of me, because then i'd have a push, something or someone tangible compelling me to try harder, be better, prove them wrong. needing to prove someone wrong does a hell of a job lighting a fire under someone's ass. 

even writing this i feel selfish, juvenile, ungrateful, pitiful, spoiled, bitchy, ignorant, wasteful, slothful. like i said, no one can break me down like i can.

when i only have me in my way, it's harder to get around. i can't ever tell in the moment that i'm being a roadblock to myself. hindsight is 20/20.

"it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

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